What Experiencing Burnout Taught Me

There was a season in my leadership journey when the work felt heavier than usual. My calendar was full, the emails never stopped, and the expectations, both spoken and unspoken, felt overwhelming. From the outside looking in, everything looked fine. The work was getting done. Our school was moving forward, but internally, I was running on fumes.

Burnout didn’t arrive all at once. It showed up over time. For instance, it was the way my mind was always spinning or in the guilt I felt when I knew I was too tired to help my kids with their homework after school. For years, I held the belief that being a good leader meant always being available, endlessly giving, and endlessly strong. In fact, I didn’t call it burnout at first. I just told myself that this was what leadership required.

What I’ve learned since then is this: burnout is not a failure of commitment. It is often the result of overextending ourselves without boundaries.

One of the most important lessons burnout taught me was that our presence matters the most. I was used to moving very quickly throughout the school day, checking boxes, solving problems, responding to every need, but I wasn’t always fully present. I learned that true leadership happens in moments of connection like a conversation in the hallway, a pause in the day to visit a student to give a hug, or a decision made with careful thought and collaboration instead of urgency. Slowing down my pace meant I could finally show up completely for everyone I served.

Burnout also taught me that intentional boundaries are what sustain us as leaders. Before I experienced leadership burnout, I thought work/life boundaries signaled a lack of care, but in reality, the opposite was true. When I began protecting time for rest, family, and reflection, I became more patient, more grounded, and more available in the moments that mattered most. Leadership without boundaries isn't noble, it’s unsustainable.

Another significant lesson I learned was to release the pressure to be everything to everyone. Leadership is not meant to be carried alone. It’s best when we build trust, empower others, and allow shared ownership of the work. When I stopped equating control with competence, I made more space for collaboration and growth, not just for others, but for myself.

The most meaningful lesson burnout taught me was to redefine what success looks like. Success is not measured by exhaustion or self-sacrifice, it’s measured by impact, sustainability, and joy. Yes, joy! For a long time, joy felt like something optional. Burnout taught me that joy is not a reward for surviving leadership; it is a requirement for sustaining it. Today, I lead differently. I still work hard, and I still care deeply, but I am more intentional with my time and my energy. I build space into my day for connection and unstructured time with students and staff. Additionally, I no longer see rest as something to earn after burnout, I see it as a leadership responsibility.

If you are reading this and recognize parts of your own leadership journey, please know that you are not alone. Burnout is not the end of your leadership story! For me, it became a crucial turning point and a commitment to lead with greater awareness and sustainability.

Here are 3 tips for leaders who are experiencing burnout:

1. Shift from “doing everything” to “prioritizing what matters most.”

   School leaders often carry operational, emotional, and instructional responsibilities simultaneously. Burnout grows when every issue feels equally urgent. Choose 2–3 priorities for the week and give yourself permission to defer or delegate lower-impact tasks. Even small systems like protecting time for your clerical tasks, reducing meetings, or increasing opportunities for shared leadership, can reduce fatigue.

   
   

2. Communicate your boundaries that model sustainability for your staff.

   Many school leaders feel pressure to always be available, but constant accessibility can erode focus and recovery. Set realistic communication boundaries, such as limiting after-hours email responses or protecting one uninterrupted part of your day. When leaders model healthy boundaries, it often encourages staff to do so as well.

   
   

3. Intentionally create moments of joy throughout the school day.

   Burnout can make leadership feel like an endless cycle of problem-solving, so small moments of joy can help restore energy and connection. Celebrate wins publicly, visit classrooms to experience student excitement, share laughs with staff, or begin meetings with gratitude and recognition. I recently ran in a staff inflatables 50-yard dash race during Field Day and it became one of my favorite memories ever! Joy doesn't eliminate challenges, but it can offer school leaders uplifting moments to enjoy within the work!

I'll leave you with this thought: I don't want to set myself on fire to keep everyone else warm, and I don't want you to do that either! In my experience, when we take care of ourselves, we lead better, and when leaders are well, our schools are stronger! Leadership was never meant to cost us our well-being. It was meant to grow us, challenge us, and connect us. That lesson, learned the hard way, is one I carry forward every day.

If you enjoyed reading this blog, please share it with a colleague! For more leadership resources, please visit: www.racheledohoeket.com

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