5 Ways Schools Can Build True Family Belonging

Early in my career as a first year teacher, I still remember a moment that changed how I think about family engagement. There was a family in my class who had never attended a parent-teacher conference, and while it was easy to assume that the parent just didn’t want to be involved, I decided to call her on the phone and personally invite her to the conference.

When we spoke, I quickly realized how wrong assumptions can be. She obviously cared about her children and wanted to attend the evening conferences, but the problem wasn’t interest, it was transportation. She didn’t have a car and had no way to get to our school. Remember, this was 20 years ago, so it was well before virtual conferences became a regular option for families.

I talked with my principal, and together we came up with a simple solution. We used school funds to pay for a cab to pick her up, bring her to school for her children's conferences, and take her home afterwards.

That night, she attended both of her sons’ conferences for the first time, and after that, she never missed another one.

Even though this happened over 20 years ago, it has always stayed with me. It taught me an important lesson about family engagement, barriers that people are facing, and ways to advocate effectively. It also showed me the importance of speaking up and finding ways to help families feel welcome and included. When we remove barriers, we give every family a real chance to be involved, and that makes a huge difference for our students!

Years later as a principal, I’ve had the privilege of greeting students and families as they enter our school, gathered input from parents during our PTA meetings, and even met with families in their neighborhoods, and those moments of connection have taught me something powerful. Schools that focus on family engagement and belonging feel different than traditional schools. In reflecting on our past family school events, I now know that engagement isn't only defined by the number of people who attend each event. Instead, it’s shown in whether families feel welcomed, valued, and have an opportunity to contribute and share their ideas as partners in their child’s education. Creating a culture of belonging takes intentional effort and there are several shifts that we can make to achieve a meaningful difference.

Here are 5 ways that schools can build true family belonging:

1. Redefine Family Engagement

For most of our schools, family engagement has traditionally meant hosting events on site at school and hoping families will attend. Back to school nights, curriculum information events, and conferences definitely matter, but belonging asks us to go a step further. Instead of asking, How can we get families to come to school? we should also be asking, How can we partner with families in more meaningful ways? Families bring deep knowledge about their children, their strengths, their interests, and experiences that shape who they are. When schools truly value that knowledge, engagement becomes focused on partnership, and when families are partners, trust grows.

2. Build Belonging in Everyday Interactions

Sometimes we think a sense of belonging is created during large school events, but in reality, it is built in the small, everyday interactions that happen throughout the school day. It’s a smile from a teacher when a family walks through the front doors, or the front office staff member who listens patiently and helps when a parent has a concern. It's a hug from a paraeducator for a child who needs it, or a positive phone call home praising a student from the principal. These interactions may seem small, but they shape how families experience the school community. Over time, those moments build trust and connection. When every adult in the building understands that they play a role in welcoming families, belonging becomes an essential part of our school's culture.

3. Create More Opportunities for Family Input

In most of our schools, we probably hear often from families who regularly attend events or meetings and while their perspectives are very important, they are only part of the story. Some families may want to share their ideas but may not feel as comfortable speaking up during meetings. As school leaders, we can expand the ways families provide input and ideas through surveys, listening sessions, informal conversations, or community gatherings to help pull in multiple perspectives. Just as importantly, we can intentionally seek out feedback from families who may not always be visible in our school. When families see their ideas reflected in decisions, they know that their voice truly matters.

4. Identify and Minimize Barriers

Sometimes when families are less involved, it’s easy to assume they aren’t interested in participating, but this isn't true. In my 21 years in education, I have never met a parent who didn't want the best for their child! Many families face barriers that make participation challenging. Work schedules, transportation difficulties, language differences, childcare needs, or even past negative experiences with schools can all affect how comfortable families feel engaging with the school community. As leaders, it’s worth asking: What barriers exist for families in our school community? Offering events at different times, providing translation services, meeting families in their neighborhoods, or offering meals and childcare during events can make a meaningful difference. These actions communicate to families that they are welcome.

5. Commit to One Action That Moves the Work Forward

Building a culture of belonging doesn’t happen all at once. It grows through consistent, intentional actions. Maybe it’s sending families a welcome postcard, note, or phone call early in the school year, or creating new opportunities for families to share feedback. Small actions, repeated over time, can help shape the culture of our schools for the better.

When families feel that they truly belong, students feel it too. They see the partnership between their families and their teachers. They sense the trust, and that connection creates a stronger foundation for learning and growth. Our schools are more than buildings where students come to learn. We are community hubs, and every family deserves to feel that they belong!

If you enjoyed reading this blog, please share it with a colleague! For more leadership resources, please visit: www.racheledohoeket.com

Sign up for my Monthly Newsletter Here