3 Ways to Build Trust in the First Month of School

Years ago, a family joined our school after moving from out of state. They were new to our community and the family shared that their son had experienced challenges at his previous school. As such, those experiences had left his parents understandably cautious. They walked into our school with questions and concerns, and it was clear that they were watching us closely.

When a family has had an experience that causes them to lose confidence in a school, you can't simply say, “You can trust us.” Trust doesn't work that way. My assistant principal and I knew that our first interactions with this family could set the tone for the positive relationship we hoped to build, so we invited the parents into our school for an in-person conversation and we sat down together and listened.

We wanted to learn more about their family and their son. We focused on learning what his strengths were, what he needed from the adults around him, and what worked well for him in the past. Most importantly, we wanted his parents to know that we weren't going to make assumptions about their child or their family based on their previous experiences. Next, we knew that finding the right classroom teacher was critical, so we intentionally matched their son with a teacher who could meet him where he was. She was caring and compassionate, but she was also firm and consistent. She was a master teacher who understood that building a relationship with him and holding high expectations were not competing priorities. During the first few weeks, he made some new friends and began to bond with his teachers. We considered that to be an early sign of success!

Throughout the year, we made space for honest conversations, feedback, questions, and input. His parents knew they could reach out to his teachers and our administrative team with questions, and likewise, we also made sure they heard from us when things were going well. Slowly, the relationship evolved. The questions became conversations and as the communication changed into more of a partnership, our mutual trust grew.

I think about that family often, especially as the new school year approaches because their experience in our school confirms something I believe about leadership: Trust is built in every day interactions!

Trust is built every time we stop to listen instead of rushing to respond. It is built when our actions match our words. It is formed when people see that we genuinely care about them and consistently follow through on our word. In our book, Relational Intelligence: The Key Factor to Exceptional School Leadership, Dr. Brad Johnson and I explore the power of relationships and the essential role trust plays in exceptional leadership. When people trust their leaders, they are more willing to collaborate, share ideas, take risks, navigate difficult conversations, and work through challenges together. This is the ideal type of school we all want to have!

As school leaders, we spend so much time preparing for opening day by creating schedules, planning professional learning, reviewing data, and making sure every detail is ready, and yes, those things matter, but people matter more. Teachers need to know that their administrators see them as individuals beyond the school, families want to know that their children are genuinely cared for, and students need to know that the adults around them will believe in them and show up for them. Thankfully, we can begin building that level of trust during the very first days of school!

3 Ways to Build Trust in the First Month of School

1. Listen before you lead. Use the first month to intentionally learn about the people in your school. Ask teachers what they need. Ask families what they hope for their children. Ask students what helps them feel important and valued. People notice when leaders are genuinely interested in their experiences. I encourage you to remain curious about everyone in your school community.

2. Follow through on the little things. One of the quickest ways to build, or break, trust is by following up and following through. If you tell a teacher you'll check on something, remember to check on it. If you promise a family you'll call, make the call. If you say you'll revisit an issue, circle back on the issue. Your consistency communicates the message that you are a trustworthy, reliable person.

3. Create space for honest feedback. Do your best not to wait until the first conflict or concern to invite feedback from others around you. Build opportunities for people to tell you what's working, what's not, and what they need. I am a huge proponent of anonymous staff feedback surveys and when issues are raised for improvement, I try to resist the urge to become defensive. Instead, I listen, collaborate on ideas, and follow up with our staff. Trust grows quickly when people know they can be honest with their principal and/or assistant principal without being dismissed.

Remember, a strong start to the school year doesn't require that leaders have every detail figured out. It's much more important to focus on creating a learning environment where people feel safe enough to trust us from day one. The family who joined our school years ago taught me that trust can start with something as simple as an invitation to sit down and talk. As you welcome your staff, students, and families this school year, build positive relationships first. That is where a strong start to the school year truly begins!

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